the heart pounds
as always
but this time out of rhythm with time
lost and forgotten at home
going to explode through my nose
turn myself to the sweaty covers
stare at the rust growing on me
it eats into the shell
i stand up, i'm dizzy
i'm crumbling away
walking around
walking past myself
clothe myself naked
and then strip
woken up but put to sleep
can't sleep a wink

i speak aloud and travel inside myself searching
i search for life
for a while i stood in place
with hope as my friend i make up some time
i look for a good beginning
but i becomes a disappointment

the heart stops
doesn't move
i insert a pacemaker (which i swallow and hide)
i find a jumper cable (and turn myself on)
see everything double (double back)
system failure (the brain refuses)
i continue my search
uncontrollable (information)
i have to feed (feed myself)